New relationships have always been a little tricky to define and the endless supply on online dating apps does not make things any easier. In today's culture, is understandable why some women worry that they will be only considered a hook-up rather than something more substantial. Of course, there is nothing wrong with a simple physical relationship, if that is what both partners are seeking; however, if you want more from your date than just a sexual encounter check out these five tips!
1. LISTEN LIKE A FRIEND People like to talk about themselves, a lot. Giving your date the opportunity to share with you what makes them tick, whether it's their job, their dog or their favorite hobby, will go far in building rapport and help develop a deeper connection. Creating a connection beyond physical attraction will make you more likely to be more than just a hookup. You can show someone you are really interested in them and eager to learn more by really asking open ended questions and reflecting back key points of the conversation.
2. REMEMBER YOUR MANNERS Being polite, social and courteous, not only to the person you're with, but also to those around you, will make you more likable and make you someone your date want to spend more time with and introduce to their friends. Leading with an inflated ego or rudness is a surefire way to prove that you're not relationship worthy!
3. HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE Life is stressful enough without being around someone who is constantly complaining or full of negativity. Your date may tolerate the gossipy or negative behavior for a night, but if your personality is a downer, don't expect a second date. Keep the complaints about your job, your exes and your friends to a minimum. Remember, dating is not the same as therapy!
4. SHARE WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE Your date is much more likely to want to see you again if you are interesting and unique. Don't make the convo only about them...be sure to talk about your own interests and passions and highlight what makes you uniquely you! One thing I hear over and over from my clients is that they want to find someone who is passionate about life and has their own interests and hobbies.
5. DON'T BE TOO AVAILABLE Nobody likes to play games, but the dating world is a complicated arena and sometimes a little gaming is necessary to get your desired result. I recommend that people new in a relationship are not quick to answer and respond to late night texts or spontaneous requests to meet up. Let your date know that seeing you requires some planning, but that you are worth the wait!
About the author:
Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC is a relationship coach and professional matchmaker and founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC. Her mission to help people connect and maintain healthy, satisfying relationships using mindfulness and intentional love. She lives in Arizona with her husband, tween daughter and 4 furry children.
Connect with me:
Instagram @ sparkmatchmaking