5 simple ways to grow your relationship in a positive direction.
Updated: May 29, 2020
1. Make today the start line: We have all heard the saying, "don't look back, you're not going that way." That's the perfect intention to move your relationship forward in a positive and sincere way. Agree to create a new start line for your relationship and focus on where you are in this moment...not where you have been in the past. Be honest with how the current state of your relationship makes you feel and focus your attention on where you want your relationship to be. Once you are in the present moment, you can more mindfully move toward your ideal and set attainable goals without dredging up the past.
2. Stay Positive: Mindset matters! Reframe your thinking to focus on what is working in your relationship rather than what is not. Ask yourself these questions:
- "What things in my relationship bring me happiness, comfort and excitement?"
- "How can these be maximized."
- "What are my favorite things about my partner?"
- "How can I reinforce the aspects of our relationship that I really enjoy?"
You fell in love with your partner for a reason! Spend more time trying to create moments of happiness and joy rather than simply avoiding the negative. Do what you can to focus your attention on your partner's best qualities and encourage those qualities to shine! They will feel more confident and secure and you will feel happier!
3. Goal setting: Creating both short term and long term goals together is a great way to move your relationship forward and in fact, is one of the best ways to encourage relationship growth. Short term goals create an immediate feeling of teamwork and cooperation while long term goals create an understanding of commitment. Having a meta-goal or mission statement for your relationship is another fantastic way to share your values, goals and dreams!
4. Never stop learning: If you want your relationship to continue to grow, you must stay curious and eager to learn about your partner. Do not assume that you know everything about how your partner thinks, feels and experiences the world. Human beings are not stagnant! Your partner experiences thousands, if not millions, new feelings and thoughts each and every day. Taking time to share these experiences with each other will take the relationship off auto-pilot and will lead to deeper connection and growth.
5. Celebrate: Life is to be celebrated! Love is to be celebrated! Don't wait for the "big" moments to celebrate each other and your relationship! Create moments of intentional gratitude and appreciation around the everyday moments that bring you happiness. The more often you recognize your gratitude for each other, the more grateful you will become!
About the author:
Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC is a relationship coach and professional matchmaker and founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC. Her mission to help people connect and maintain healthy and satisfying relationships using mindfulness and intentional love. She lives in Arizona with her husband, daughter and too many animals to mention!
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