• Michelle Fraley

Four ways to be instantly likable.

Being liked is as easy as being yourself and following a few simple rules

We all want to make a great first impression and be liked by others. Feeling connected to others is important for our emotional well being and our physical health. Of course, being your amazing self is the first step in attracting friends, but here are my top 4 tips on how to be instantly likable!


People like to talk about themselves, a lot.  Giving someone the opportunity to share with you what makes them tick will go far in building rapport.  You can become instantly likable to someone if you show them that you are curious and eager to learn about them.  You can do this by asking open ended questions, reflecting back key points of the conversation and maintaining eye contact. Staying focused on the person and not allowing your attention or eyes to dart around the room goes along way in creating a personal connection.


Life is stressful and being around negative people only makes it feel more stressful. You can be instantly likable to others if you present yourself as positive and optimistic! Engage the person in lighthearted, interesting conversation around topics such as travel, pets and hobbies and avoid complaining, gossiping or discussing politics/religion. Of course, friendship should include deeper sharing, but newer friendships should not be used as therapy sessions.


Be polite and courteous, not only to the person you're engaging with, but also to those around you. Small gestures displaying good manners, such as holding doors and saying please and thank, you can go a long way in getting others to like you.


Just say no to texting and social media while engaging with other people! Updating your status, commenting on a post or texting while having a conversation with another person gives the impression that you are not fully engaged and will not make you likable.    

Life is all about networking these days.  Your career, friendships and romantic relationships will develop and flourish when you are well liked.  Even your day to day interactions with strangers will be pleasant and feel easier when you put off a likable vibe.  Bottom line, people are willing to go our of their way to spend time with and help out those people that they like...so it really does pay to make a great first impression!

Smiling makes others smile too!

About the author:

Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC is a relationship coach and professional matchmaker and founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC. Her mission to help people connect and maintain healthy, satisfying relationships using mindfulness and intentional love. She lives in Arizona with her husband, daughter and 4 fur-babies!

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