Marriage is a wonderful thing and the honeymoon stage can be simply delightful, however, the first year of marriage can also be tricky to navigate for both husbands and wives alike. What happens now that the gifts have been opened, the thank you cards sent and the wedding photos proudly framed and displayed? Newlyweds, keep the honeymoon alive by being mindful of these four mistakes that newlyweds often make in the first year of marriage.
1. They think they know what their partner desires in the bedroom. Both new husbands and wives may assume they are sexually pleasing their partner without ever checking in or asking for feedback. Newlyweds may feel overconfident and believe that their bedroom skills are working for their partner when perhaps they aren’t. Sexual satisfaction, including specific expectations and desires, is a discussion that needs to happen early on in the marriage (and throughout the marriage) to make sure both partners are getting their physical needs met.
3. They don't pitch in. Newlyweds may assume that both partners will gladly or willingly adopt household chores and duties according to traditional gender roles. Our expectations of what constitutes a “man’s role” vs a “women’s role” are shaped by many things including our own family and life experiences and this is a topic that must be discussed, not simply assumed. It is very possible that the wife may prefer to handle some of the traditionally "male" roles while the husband may enjoy the domestic side!
4. They think they can be everything to their spouse. Now that they’re married, newlyweds may think that their spouse's friend network is not nearly as important as it once was. They are strong, confident people and think they can be everything to their spouse...a lover, a confident, a playmate and a partner. However, it is important that both men and women maintain friendships and enjoy social time both as a couple and as individuals. Newlyweds need to understand that no matter how much they are in love, social networks are important.
About the author:
Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC is a relationship coach and professional matchmaker and founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC. Her mission to help people connect and maintain healthy, satisfying relationships using mindfulness and intentional love. She lives in Arizona with her husband, daughter and 4 fur babies.
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