Relationships are not always clear cut. Even when we feel content, we may wonder how we know whether or not we are with the "right" person. There is no magic formula for a successful or long-lasting relationship, but there are some clear signs that the person you are dating may not be the "one". Of course, these issues can be worked on with your partner through relationship coaching or counseling, but if these five things are present in your relationship and they are not addressed, they will likely result in feelings of unhappiness, dissatisfaction and disconnection.
1. You don’t feel celebrated simply for being you. The wrong person may compliment your looks and achievements, but the right person will love and accept you for who you are...not for what you produce or only for your appearance. If your partner seems to always overlook the deeper you and focuses only on your external qualities, they may not be the one for you.
2. You don’t feel comfortable expressing your needs and desires. The wrong person may feel confident in believing they know what you want, both in and out of the bedroom, and therefore may not take the time or effort to check in with you. If this makes you hesitant to speak up and express your needs, then ultimately you will feel unheard and unfulfilled.
3. You don’t feel secure in the relationship. The wrong person may not understand or attempt to understand your feelings. Feeling misunderstood or unappreciated may lead to you seek their constant validation. The right person knows how to express love and affection in a way that makes you feel safe and secure.
4. You don’t have a clear path of relationship growth or long term goals. Constant struggles to compromise and connect on everyday matters can makes creating a healthy and strategic long term plan extremely difficult. If you and your partner struggle to agree on small tasks and don't function well as a team, how will you be at reaching long term goals?
5. You don’t enjoy comfortable silence. When you’re with the wrong person, silence seems to say a lot and can seem heavy and passive aggressive. With the right person, silence can be feel comforting, secure and connected.
About the author:
Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC is a relationship coach and professional matchmaker and founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC. Her mission to help people connect and maintain healthy, satisfying relationships using mindfulness and intentional love. She lives in Arizona with her husband, daughter and too many pets to mention!
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