• Michelle Fraley

4 ways to date your spouse that will keep your connection alive!

Updated: May 29, 2020

Dating is an important part of a healthy relationship!

Dating is NOT only for singles! I stress to my married and coupled clients that dating each other is an important part of their relationship. Whether it's a weekly date night or a spontaneous "let's go out" this time together serves to nurture and deepen the love connection. Not all dates are created equal, however, so if you really want to ramp up your relationship, check out these date ideas that could make your time together extra special!

Going back to the scene of your first date can be a great way to celebrate your relationship!

1. Be Sentimental

Rituals, inside jokes and shared experiences make your relationship uniquely yours! Connecting through memories made together is an easy and fun way to strengthen your bond and reinforce your special and deep connection. Sentimental date ideas may include revisiting the site of your first date, watching your favorite movie together for the 50th time (and knowing every line) or reminiscing over old photos and a glass of wine. Whether the sentimental gestures are grand or small, these moments signify the specialness in your relationship and will keep your emotional connection healthy and strong!

Never forget that your partner is also your friend and friends have FUN together!

2. Have Fun

Life is full of serious stuff and often times couples end up spending their allotted date time discussing heavy topics such as parenting, finances, work issues, extended family and household chores. Couples need to remember that they are friends as well as partners and friends let loose and have FUN together! I encourage my clients to shelf the "important issues" for a few hours each week, have some fun and recognize the value in laughing and creating joy together! Fun date ideas could include checking out a local festival, wine tasting, live music, improv comedy show, paint night, rock climbing or dance lessons!

Spending time with other happy couples is always a winning idea!

3. Double Date

Presenting yourself as a “couple” in social situations is a bonding experience. You and your partner are entering the social scene as a team and that creates a sense of unity. You will often see happy couples at their best in social situations where they are able to tag team off of each other. Social time can also benefit your relationship when you surround yourself with “relationship role models.” These are other successful, happy couples who model positive relationship habits and reinforce good behavior patterns in your own relationship. Double date ideas could include hosting a BBQ, joining a sports league, attending a trivia night, trying out an escape room with friends or just enjoying some time with another couple.

Sometimes quiet time and some snuggling makes for the perfect date!

4. Enjoy the Simple Life together

Life is busy and we often feel pulled in a million different directions, which is why sometimes we just want our time with our partner to be simple and easy. Oftentimes, the most beneficial thing a couple can do for their relationship is just allow each other to stop over thinking, over doing and just BE. This simplicity of sharing space together encourages authentic expression and secure attachment in the relationship. Simple date ideas could include reading together on the couch, looking at the stars, listening to music, taking a walk or just cuddling.

Whatever type of date you and your partner decide on, be sure to make it a priority! Schedule the babysitter, make the dinner reservations, secure the concert tickets and most importantly, enjoy the time together!

About the author:

Michelle Fraley, MA, WPCC is a relationship coach and professional matchmaker and founder and owner of Spark Matchmaking & Relationship Coaching, LLC. Her mission to help people connect and maintain healthy and satisfying relationships using mindfulness and intentional love. She lives in Arizona with her husband, daughter and 4 fur babies.

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